So, are you all encouraging visits with small adopted children and their birth moms/dads? What if birth parents are addicts, not stable. Isnt this a lot for a child to have to deal with. Isnt it asking a lot of the adoptive parents to help their child shuffle their affections back and forth? It seems [...]
Open Adoption Support
for families and individuals who support openness in adotion
We honor the connection adoptees have to both of their families. We recognize the love and joy as well as the losses and grief of adoption. We do not diminish one family in favor of another. We are flexible, understanding that needs and circumstances change. We set boundaries on the basis of what is best for our children.
We understand that open adoption looks like different things for different families.
Archives for Community Wisdom
How many too many members of birthfamily for first visit?
We agreed to our first visit with our son’s birthfamily (birthmother and birthfamily are all who are listed in the agreement) being at 6 months after placement, which is coming up in May. The birthfather has told us now that they want to have the birthmother, him, his sister and her family of 4, his [...]
How can I prepare for a long visit?
First, let me say that my DD has an amazing birthfamily and they have truly given us so much more of a relationship than I ever dreamed we could have. We love them and want them to be involved in DD’s life as much as possible. We have done many, many day trips and other [...]
First mom can’t meet. Should I worry?
OK….maybe I’m over-thinking this…but first my daughter’s birthmother ignores her 4th birthday. Now…I’ve been trying to set up our annual summer visit (our 1 visit a year) and, from what she told me, she will not be able to meet. Should I be worried?
We have had some great previous visits. I even thought our relationship [...]
What is all this pain for?
My daughter will be two next month. Her parents are wonderful. We skype and email often. We’re facebook friends so I can see tons of pictures and get a glimpse of their day to day life.
The problem is that I don’t feel that I’m important in the little one’s life. A two year old can’t [...]
My child’s first mom ignored her birthday. How do I handle it?
Today is my daughter’s 4th birthday. When the mail came, I expected to receive something from both of her birthparents (or at least, to have received something BY today.) A package came from the birthfather. Nothing from the birthmother. I checked my e-mail, because in the past she at least sent her an e-card. Nothing. [...]
How do I talk about absent birth fathers?
We have good relationships, although very different from one another, with both of our kids’ birthmothers. We talk fairly often and have periodic visits. My kids’ birthfathers are a completely different story, however. We have no contact with either, and likely won’t, at least, not until the kids are older. One denies paternity, and the [...]
How do we get our child’s bmom to visit?
We adopted from foster care. Bmom has significant cognitive delays due to a head injury as a child. We had three successful post adoption visits and are overdue for the next visit (open adoption agreement is for two visits per year).
Bmom recently left her husband, who helped her manage much of her life. She is [...]
Child’s privacy on facebook?
My husband and I adopted our daughter in March 2009 and it was an open adoption with visits from the birth mother. Birth mother decided to take us to court and to make a long story short, we won the case. In October, the Judge recommended that we begin “contact” going slowly and cautiously and [...]
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