Open Adoption Support

I figure that I’ll get the ball rolling in the first families forum. I’m good at ball rolling.

Loosely, answer the following questions in your introduction:

Your name/the name you want us to use.
Your age/rough estimate.
Your relinquished child’s name/name you want us to use.
Your relinquished child’s age/rough estimate.
The current state of your adoption (open/semi/has been closed/hiatus).
The current state of your relationship with either/both your child/adoptive parents.
More about you, your current job(s), family, life, likes/dislikes and so on.

Go!

Hi

My name is Jane, you can call me Jane
I am in my mid-thirties
I call my daughter “kiddo” when online
She’s in her early teens
We have an ‘open adoption’ that has become more semi-open than anything (there’s a lot of back story)
Kiddos parents and I have a very strained, uncomfortable relationship. My relationship with kiddo is somewhat strained as a result (think nasty divorce, parental backbitting)

I work full time, outside of the home. I have a teen aged child that I parent and I’m married to a wonderful man who has been amazingly supportive of all the craziness in my life.

I’m KatjaMichelle or Katja and I’m 25 (for a little bit longer). I relinquished Kidlet who is 7 and we have an open adoption, although this year’s visit isn’t going to happen thanks to the layoffs. I have a good relationship with both of Kidlet’s parents although I’m closer to his mom.

I’m also a graduate student and was unemployed for 8 months following a layoff in October. I am on day two of my second week of a new job and decided to check this site rather than get out of bed on time this morning. I am not a morning person. I’m single but have two crazy roommates to keep me entertained and I’m an aunt to a 3 year old niece and coming soon a new baby niece.

And now I can no longer justify not getting out of bed, Time to get ready for work.

Hi there! Im Thanksgivingmom, but most everyone calls me TG I’m 26 – though 27 is around the corner. Out of respect for her privacy I call my daughter Cupcake (though I’ve slipped here or there and her real name isn’t a big secret). Cupcake is 2 1/2 and is pretty awesome. She’s being raised by a single Mom, with whom I have all communication right now since Cupcake’s just a toddler. Her Mom and I have a good relationship, though I’m quick to freak out when emails take weeks and weeks for a response. But I know in my heart that she “gets” Open Adoption and is supportive of our relationship – and her behavior at visits shows it! We just need to work on our communication the other 363 days a year

Me? I work for a national non-profit (meaning I don’t personally profit really, haha). I live in Southern California, have a huge family, am single (and for the record: ready to mingle) and that’s about it!

My name is Britney
I’m 24
My son is C
He’s almost 2 months old (SO cute!)
The adoption is very open… They live in the same city and I’m currently pumping breast milk, so I see ADad once or twice a week. I’ve seen C twice, and will see him again in about three weeks for his baptism
Relationship with AParents is good. So far, they’ve been amazing!
I lost my job when I got pregnant, and just started back part time last week working at my mom’s office. I’m also in school.

I suppose I’ll introduce myself.

My name is Jenna. Also known on the interwebz as FireMom.
I’m somehow 28.
My daughter’s name is Munchkin and she’ll be six later this year.
We have a fully open adoption with quarterly visits, give or take.
Our relationship is back on solid ground after a rocky year and a half which involved a divorce on their part, postpartum depression on my part and other complications.

I am also a mom to two wild and crazy boys (3.5, 1.5). I work from home as a freelance writer and editor. My husband is a professional firefighter. We’re in the process of deciding whether or not we want to invest in a large (12 acres!) piece of land. (OMG!YES!) And we’re looking forward to vacation(s) this summer!

Well I’m Lauren.
I will be 26 in July.
My son’s name is C. I also have a parented daughter named A.
My situation is pics and a letter once a year.
it was promised to me that “their door would always be open”, but that obviously does not translate into an actual conversation.
I work for Starbucks and LOVE it. My parented child will be starting “big girl school” (kindergarten) in the fall….fun stuff! I want to go back to school next fall.
I am currently trying to get a game plan together to open our adoption more. it’s just sucky the way it is. well, sucky for me, anyway. I would never know how it’s going for anyone else.

Hi everyone. I don’t know if anyone will read this since I’m about a month late…but just joined the site.

My name is Leigh and I will be 27 in September.

I gave up my daughter for adoption almost 8 years ago (she’ll be 8 in November), and I’ve never actually used a name yet for her…still working on that decision.

My adoption agreement was semi-open, so a letter and pictures once a year like Lauren. I chose that arrangement in the beginning, but now that my daughter’s getting older, I’ve been thinking about reaching out to her adoptive family (via the adoption agency) to see if they/she would like it to be more open.

I can’t say anything bad about my relationship with the adoptive parents since everything’s so cordial, but I wonder/worry how they’ll react if I do ask for more interaction.

I am married (one year July 26th!) and we are expecting a little girl this August. I work for a financial services company but will be leaving in 2 weeks to stay home full time with my baby.

Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary and becoming a Mom again!

And welcome of course

Saw another Leigh on here and wondered what I had done a few weeks ago!!! Anyway, lost my old log in and info, so here I am again. My name is Leigh and I go by Leigh or Leigh Anne.
I am a young 38!!! I still have a few friends who no matter what I tell them, think that I am in my 20′s early 30′s.

I typically don’t use her name but I use her nickname often, Supergirl. She is a gorgeous and bright 5 year old who will be starting kindergarten this month.
While we are supposed to be in an open adoption, they appear to be having some issues with the whole thing and it has been over a year since I have had a visit. We are currently working on mediation but I am unable to have the face to face. Have all ready had one.
While I have a few choice words to use for them, I don’t use them. Right now I don’t trust them.

I currently work for an ambulance billing company and LOVE my job!!!! I may complain about the hours 4:30 pm to 1am but being a night owl, this works for me.
Find me a good book and I can lose a whole afternoon. I also enjoy good friends, facebook, and local music.

Well… I guess I should introduce myself, even though I like to keep people guessing and only reveil the things about myself slowly.

I am Cindy. I am a first mom to a boy who is 3 years, five months, 22 days, 14 hours, and 12 minutes old at this moment.

I have not decided what nickname to use to refer to him here.

I placed him at birth in open adoption and have visited 10 times.

The adoption is not as open as I hoped because the adoptive mom does not send any updates, like she promised, but if I ask numerous times, she will concede to a visit.

I am Canadian and do not have a life, or very much of one anyways.

That’s all I am going to say right now!!

i somehow missed this whole thread awhile back…

i’m Barb & 36, birth/first mom to The Kiddo, who will be 12 in February.

as far as the state of our adoption, “limbo” is the only word that can accurately describe my position.

while i previously received the “annual packet” around birthday time, with visits once a year or so, i have not seen my son in almost 3 years and haven’t received an update in 2.5 years.

i work full time as well as own a small business with my husband. i take photographs, blog, read…

Hi, I’m Emmah and I am a birthgrandmother to a 2 month old beautiful baby girl, I’ll call Haley. My daughter, Cole (17), placed Haley with a wonderful family with our support. We don’t live in the same state, so we’re planning to get together in about 3 or 4 weeks for our first visit since they returned home. Haley’s parents have been wonderful, sending photos and emailing us on a regular basis; we have a lot in common we love them and we have high hopes for the future. But I’m always a little nervous…

Hello All,
I’m Anne–24 yrs old, recently moved cross-country to sunny San Diego! My “Little Man” (what I’ve called him since the first time I saw him) is 2.5. It’s open, so I feel that I shouldn’t complain; but like most of you, it’s always promised by the a-parents to be way more open than it really will be. I saw My Little Man just after his second birthday this summer, and had one of the best days of my life. I have an __uncomfortable__ relationship with the a-parents. In the beginning, it felt like I was a surrogate mother for close friends more than anything. Now they act so paranoid that if they don’t meet me in a crowded public place, I’ll instantly decide to become a felon and kidnap him. So I’ve been trying to take the back-burner and not step on their toes, and whenever I want to write them a nasty letter, I delete it and instead journal to My Little Man (I compile letters, photos, memorabilia for him). It’s frustrating, but we natural moms have no legal rights whatsoever, so the last thing I want to do is get on their bad side. I’m currently trying to finish my degree (was massively delayed by post-partum depression, which is arguably just the emotional effects of the adoption.) and I work as a behavior therapist for children with autism. I am in love [and live] with a wonderful man who is an M.D. but he just doesn’t understand what I’m going through.

It was great to read about all of you!!