Open Adoption Support
for families and individuals who support openness in adoption
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Admin Dawn posted an update: 1 month, 2 weeks ago · View
Going through and delete spam users, which has become a regular past time around here. (sigh)
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OAS Administrator posted an update: 2 months, 1 week ago · View
Site is transferred — no functionality (that I can find) has been lost!!
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OAS Administrator commented on the blog post Visits with Birth Mom’s Ex-Con Boyfriend? 2 months, 2 weeks ago · View
Betsy, you rock.
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OAS Administrator commented on the blog post Visits with Birth Mom’s Ex-Con Boyfriend? 2 months, 3 weeks ago · View
I gotta tell you, from my perspective you seem to have handled this really well. You honored your boundaries, you were still welcoming. At the same time it’s understandable why she’d be upset. That’s not to say that you’re wrong (this is a boundary I would have, too) but that if she thinks he is [...]
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cindy Giesbrecht commented on the blog post What I want to know is how many people believe in the ‘confusion’ theory? 3 months ago · View
I know, lots of people I know at work think it’s ‘weird’ that I go to see my son. I guess they think if I want to see him, then why didn’t I just ‘keep’ him in the first place. You’re awesome Jenna, you words always comfort me. You are so so right. I just [...]
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cindy Giesbrecht commented on the blog post What I want to know is how many people believe in the ‘confusion’ theory? 3 months ago · View
Thank you!! those are awesome!! … I was ‘triggered’ by a radio show that I listened to. Dawn was in one, and as I was at the site I started listening to some of the others past shows. One made a remark about ‘confusion’ that boiled my blood. I am glad that I am not [...]
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OAS Administrator commented on the blog post What I want to know is how many people believe in the ‘confusion’ theory? 3 months ago · View
I think a lot of people believe this, too — it’s one of the most common questions I’m asked. But if they’d ask MADISON, they’d know she’s not confused and she’s actually pretty good at explaining it to her friends when they ask about her adoption.
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cindy Giesbrecht wrote a new blog post: The ‘confusion’ theory 3 months ago · View
Today I listened to a radio show about adoption because the amazing Dawn was in it. After listening to her I decided to try and listen to some of the other shows listed under her on this site http://toginet.com/shows/adoptionjourneytomotherhood I stopped listening to the show under Dawns when I heard the host(who is supposedly a first [...]
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OAS Administrator commented on the blog post How can I firmly close an open adoption? 3 months ago · View
This is not a site to help people close an adoption. This is a site to encourage people towards openness. People who come here hoping that they will get advice on closing their adoptions or who want other people to help them justify that decision should remember the name of the site.
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OAS Administrator commented on the blog post How can I firmly close an open adoption? 3 months ago · View
Melissa, it sounds like you are not clear that the purpose of our site it to support openness in adoption. From this comment (and other comments here and elsewhere) it also sounds like our values (posted right at the top of every page on here in the blue box) don’t resonate with yours. Our site [...]
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OAS Administrator commented on the blog post Is it ok to not save some things given by the birthparents? 3 months, 1 week ago · View
Tiffani, I totally understand your decision to pull back from here and I agree that this web site may not offer the best support for families looking for reasons it’s ok to close an adoption, which is the sense I’m getting from you. As I emailed before, there were a lot of red flags in [...]
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OAS Administrator commented on the blog post Will I get a call from a lawyer? 3 months, 2 weeks ago · View
You are unlikely to get a call from a lawyer. That said, maybe you could have responded by trying to set up another visit. Remember, open adoption is not about punishing or rewarding your SIL — it’s about giving your child connections to her first family. I totally understand being angry and frustrated with SIL [...]
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OAS Administrator wrote a new blog post: Will I get a call from a lawyer? 3 months, 2 weeks ago · View
After 2+ years of fostering our neice(came to us at 3months due to bmother’s substance abuse problems, etc and now we’ve adopted her and she’s 3) The bmother settled on the day of her trial for an open adoption with us b/c her lawyer advised her heavily on doing so so she could at least [...]
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cindy Giesbrecht commented on the blog post How to I pull back from relationship with grandmother without hurting birth mom? 3 months, 2 weeks ago · View
Hmmm…. that’s tricky!! I think you should talk with your sons first mom and tell her to talk to her own mom. I am a bit confused about the dynamics of this situation. Can you possibly tell us more?
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OAS Administrator wrote a new blog post: How to I pull back from relationship with grandmother without hurting birth mom? 3 months, 2 weeks ago · View
during the open adoption with my son, we have been helping his bmother find a job, get on her feet etc because shes showed that she is in fact trying.He was removed and her rights terminated. We agreed on 3 visits a year, but we do lots more. The problem now is her mom, she [...]
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cindy Giesbrecht commented on the blog post How can I firmly close an open adoption? 3 months, 2 weeks ago · View
*blushing* aaww…*totally loss of words* umm..thanks!! =)
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cindy Giesbrecht commented on the blog post How can I firmly close an open adoption? 3 months, 2 weeks ago · View
I am a first(birth) mom and I just want to tell you that “open adoption” is not about how you feel. Your feelings are important, yes, and I understand that you are having a hard time. Open adoption is for the benefit of your child. It is so that your child will understand everything that [...]
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OAS Administrator commented on the blog post How can I firmly close an open adoption? 3 months, 2 weeks ago · View
I don’t think this is the best site (an open adoption support site) to get help *closing* an adoption. Most of us who are here are here because we believe in openness. But I do think you might get some support about setting boundaries. It’s reasonable to want to control how and when you are [...]
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OAS Administrator wrote a new blog post: How can I firmly close an open adoption? 3 months, 2 weeks ago · View
They know my full name and where I live. I’ve told them that I need space. My child’s a-parents just won’t leave me alone. It’s not that they’re constantly in touch but every time I feel that I’m healing a little bit, I get an email or a text message and it just tears me [...]
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OAS Administrator commented on the blog post My son says, “I don’t like her” 3 months, 3 weeks ago · View
Sharon, that is just great that he was able to share that with you! And that you were right there ready to listen. You rock!
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