Open Adoption Support

Betsy, you rock.

I gotta tell you, from my perspective you seem to have handled this really well. You honored your boundaries, you were still welcoming. At the same time it’s understandable why she’d be upset. That’s not to say that you’re wrong (this is a boundary I would have, too) but that if she thinks he is [...]

I think a lot of people believe this, too — it’s one of the most common questions I’m asked. But if they’d ask MADISON, they’d know she’s not confused and she’s actually pretty good at explaining it to her friends when they ask about her adoption.

“They once told me in a message(some time ago) that *most* people are not comfortable with the thought of a first mom or first family being a part of an adoptive family.” To this, I say, “It isn’t most people they need to worry about, it’s the people involved. If they are worrying about what [...]

This is not a site to help people close an adoption. This is a site to encourage people towards openness. People who come here hoping that they will get advice on closing their adoptions or who want other people to help them justify that decision should remember the name of the site.

Melissa, it sounds like you are not clear that the purpose of our site it to support openness in adoption. From this comment (and other comments here and elsewhere) it also sounds like our values (posted right at the top of every page on here in the blue box) don’t resonate with yours. Our site [...]

Tiffani, I totally understand your decision to pull back from here and I agree that this web site may not offer the best support for families looking for reasons it’s ok to close an adoption, which is the sense I’m getting from you. As I emailed before, there were a lot of red flags in [...]

You are unlikely to get a call from a lawyer. That said, maybe you could have responded by trying to set up another visit. Remember, open adoption is not about punishing or rewarding your SIL — it’s about giving your child connections to her first family. I totally understand being angry and frustrated with SIL [...]

I don’t think this is the best site (an open adoption support site) to get help *closing* an adoption. Most of us who are here are here because we believe in openness. But I do think you might get some support about setting boundaries. It’s reasonable to want to control how and when you are [...]

Sharon, that is just great that he was able to share that with you! And that you were right there ready to listen. You rock!

Soper, I’m gonna write you off blog because there’s some stuff that I’m not wanting to put out here, ‘kay?

I’m going to go out on a limb here. There was a time when my daughter was angry with her first mom only she expressed this by being rough with her and not with words. What she needed was for me to give words to what she was feeling, which took some careful discussion. For [...]