In regard to responses to adoption:  Keep in mind that when we adopted our little girl...that was the first adoption to take place in my family...ever.  They all have a pretty ancient concept of adoption, as a result, they say things that hit me the wrong way.  For example:  When my mother introduces us to her friends, she introduces each one of us, introducing our baby last...and ALWAYS has to add....'' and she's adopted."  It drives me nuts!!!! Not because it is a bad thing that she is adopted...it is that it almost sounds like she's not really a member of the family...like she's not really her grandchild.   

She also says things to me like, "She is so smart...I'd like to say it's because of my genes, but I can't." Or "It's almost like she's one of us."  It really drives me almost crazy to hear these things.  Of course, my little girl is just a baby and she doesn't understand what her grandmother is saying, but I keep thinking that when she is older, such comments will hurt her feelings.  I know they hurt mine.

"Lucky"

The other day I had some lady tell my kids how "lucky" they are.  That was a first.  I definitely feel like the "lucky" one.  (But when I think of the loss their adoptions were to their first families it makes my stomach turn).  The "lucky" comment kind of took me off guard, so I didn't say anything.  I've read that term really irks adoptees.  Thankfully my kids all just smiled.  The lady had asked if all the kids were mine (we have five).  I answered "yes" and introduced the children to her. Then one of my kids piped in "...and we're all adopted!"  LOL.  I'm glad they are happy about it, so far.