I'm not sure if this is the right site for me. My husband and I adopted my niece 5 months ago, when she was born. She was 7 weeks early and born addicted to heroin. She spent the first month of her life on methadone. She is doing great but we don't know how to approach the future. We have a four year old son and his cousin ( her biological brother) is three. I am close to my family and I love my sister.... though I don't want her in my daughter's life. How do I explain the relationship between them? Her biological grandmother is very active in my nephew's life and wants to be involved in with her as well. I want this to all be out in the open. or at least I thought I did... I feel a a little territorial about our family unit now. My nephew has never had a stable familty life. He splits his time between grandparents. I don't want him to feel as though something else has been taken away from him. I don't want her to feel a misplaced sympathy for her birth parents. There are so many explanations, things I could tell them... Which is right? Which is best?