One of the questions I asked was, "How long have you been part of the adoption triad?" The answers varied according to where the respondent was in the triad. Adoptees, as I said, were generally responding as adults (out of 22 people who identified as adopted persons, 15 said they had been part of the adoption triad for greater than 21 years). Adoptive parents tended to be "younger" in their adoption experiences than first parents. The breakdown looked like this:

First parents
Less than a year 7%
Between a year and five years 31%
Between six and ten years 36%
Between eleven and fifteen years 9%
Between sixteen and twenty-one years 9%
Greater than twenty-one years 7%

Adoptive parents
Less than a year 19%
Between a year and five years 58%
Between six and ten years 16%
Between eleven and fifteen years 3%
Between sixteen and twenty-one years 3%
Greater than twenty-one years 1%

The questions submitted through the Ask a question feature reflect these differences. Adoptive parents tend to be working on establishing their relationships with their children's first parents while first parents are often asking about how to revisit those relationships further down the road.

I was a little surprised by how low the "less than a year" number is on both sides. Perhaps it's a reflection that openness can get more complicated as our children begin to ask more of us and of their family relationships.