One of the most important aspects of the survey was identifying common issues that get in the way of openness. This graph looks at the top five issues among all respondents (it's actually six because there was a tie).

What these issues tell us as a support site:

• Our members need help learning how to communicate and listen effectively. Perhaps we need to start reviewing books that speak to this or interview experts who can help? For agencies and adoption professionals, communication workshops might be a great addition to their services.
• Speaking of communication, our members need specific help in sharing their emotions, learning to set boundaries and asking for more from each other.
• I'll talk more about the "lack of support from extended family" in the next post but clearly this is something post-adoption services needs to address.
• We also need to think of ways we can support folks after the visits -- learning how to cope with the upswing in grief, pain or guilt. Openness can sometimes make the hard parts of adoption undeniable.

Now to break down the issues by respondents:

• The top two issues for first parents was having to hide feelings and being afraid to ask for more contact.
• The top two issues for adoptive parents was differences in communication styles and difficulty in setting boundaries.