Will I be perpetually be fifteen when it comes to him? We haven't spoken in 5 years. We both have spouses and children of our own. But he was my first love. I imagined that we would be married one day. I thought the child that we placed was going to be ours at first. But he ran. And I never got him out of my system. Is it because we had a child together? Or is it like this for anyone with an "old flame"?
I feel stupid. I just wish I could hang out with him once to show myself to see that he's not as cool as he used to be. And it would help if he's gained a few pounds and is starting to have wrinkles.
lol
Bookmark/Search this post with:
Sometimes I wonder too if I
Sometimes I wonder too if I will ever not have feelings for the birthfather of my birthchild. I know that hes married and I really don't technically want to have anything to do with him. But I can't help wondering and imagining what could have been with him. I wonder why he choose to marry a women older than me, quite a bit heavier than me and um...less attractive then me. I mean what was so unbearable about me that he couldn't get along with me??? I know that sometimes I feel attraction to him because he was my first and only sexual partner and I cannot imagine physically being with anyone else. I don't emotionally want to be with him. I just sometimes crave what was...I just want to say I understand a little bit.