I am a biological Grandmother. Our sons girlfriend had a child a few months back but abondoned the baby at the hospital. My son did not want it either. The childrens aid ask if we wanted to raise the child, unfortunately we are in our 60's and with some major health issues. We agreed to let the baby be adopted, but, also, that we remain as it Grandparents. We were told that they had found a couple who agreed to allow us to visit with our grandchild, but this has since turned into a nightmare for us. We were only given visits of an hour or so every few months, with the new parents always there. My question is this,: Does anyone out there have any idea's on how we can get more visiting time and is it legal for the new parents to make up such a hard schedule for us.
Do first grandparents have rights?
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I'm going to echo what
I'm going to echo what others have said: Try to sit down with the adoptive parents and the social worker and work out something better. However, you don't have any legal rights. Even if your son were parenting, you wouldn't have any legal rights. Courts are very hesitant to grant rights to anyone but the custodial guardians/parents of a child.
As an adoptive parent, I would generally support visits. However, I would insist on being there for said visits, at least until I was comfortable with the way the birthfamily interacted with the child.
I also have to say, that a young infant is very hard to work around. When our son was a young baby, everything was contingent on his napping (which he rarely did). It may not be a problem with you, but that it's difficult for them to schedule anything. I can't even remember how many times I was all set to go somewhere, only to have Jack not nap when he was supposed to and then he'd be too cranky, or asleep at the wrong time, etc. I don't know the exact situation of your visits, I'm just trying to see the other side.
Writing a letter explaining why it's important for you to have contact with your bio grandchild might help the adoptive parents see your side.
Good luck!
I'm sorry you're in such a
I'm sorry you're in such a hard spot, espeically since you really don't have any legal rights, at least as I understand it.
I wonder if the adoptive parents would be willing to sit down with you and a third party to talk about this? Not a lawyer, but maybe someone from children's aid or a local adoption agency who could mediate the conversation? I know that the first year of openness was by far the toughest for me from an emotional standpoint (I'm an adoptive mom). Maybe if you all could sit down and listen to one another you'll be able to find a more satisfying middle ground.
Adoption is the complete
Adoption is the complete transfer of all parental rights and responsibilities to the adoptive parents. They can choose who can visit, how often, and for how long just as any other parents.You have no rights. This is harsh, but is the way it is.
All you can really do is discuss the issue with them directly and try to create a good relationship that allows for frank discussions.
This is a new situation for everyone, perhaps they'll relax a bit as they get to know you.
Unfortunately, there isn't
Unfortunately, there isn't any sort of legal action you could take. Even for birthparents, the only state that currently offers any sort of legally-binding contact agreement is Washington State (I'm currently in an open adoption with my daughter & her adoptive parents in WA). For now, at least, it is all on the integrity of the parties involved. I believe that even if the child was being raised by her biological parents I don't believe you'd have any legal rights to the child unless it was being abused or in some sort of other imminent danger. It is really unfortunate that her adoptive parents are denying their child the chance to know a part of his or her birth family!
Several states other than
Several states other than Washington offer legally binding post-adoption contact agreements, although the specifics and enforcement mechanisms vary. (I hope it doesn't seem like I'm quibbling with your comment--just wanted to add that clarification. :-) )
In california there is a
In california there is a "post adoption contact" agreement can be put in writing during the adoption however I don't know if a grandparents rights are represented in an adoption or if they have any rights in the adoption process. I feel for you, as a firstmother, I now recognize the effect that my decision made on my entire family. I hope you'll be able to get the adoptive parents to give you more contact as it will be of benefit to the child later in life to have known some of its biological family.