Would you (adoptive parents) want the first/birth mom of the child you adopted to tell her friends about the experience? I am really curious how adoptive parents might react to the knowledge that others they have not met know about them. I don’t tell hardly anyone(in person) about my experience in becoming a birthmom. I sort of feel like it would be like gossiping, but I talk about my family to people I know a lot. I know it should probably be the same with my birthchild. I heistate because I know that the adoptive parents of my birthchild do not tell everyone they know that they adopted. I think that probably is why I heistate.
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How do I tell my daughter that our family friends are her birth family?
Our daughter turned 5 this past April and for the past two years, we have been meeting her biological father, sister and grandmother once a year at the zoo. The only contact we have with her birth mom is letters and pictures through the agency. Her sister is 8 and her family has told her all about her sister and that she was adopted. We are discussing about when the right time would be to tell her about her birth family. Right now she knows them as friends of the family. She is only 5 and we are not sure how much she would truly understand. She and her brother, who is 3, do know that they are adopted, but we haven’t explained details at this point. She has asked if she were in my tummy
and I explained to her that no she wasn’t, she was in someone else’s tummy. She did ask who the person was and I told her that I would have to find out. I didn’t think she was ready for all of those details at that point. She was fine with that answer and didn’t ask anymore questions.
Another question is that we do not have contact anymore with our son’s birth family. We did the first 1-1/2, however, nothing since. We send pictures and letters through the agency. We have the visual contact with our daughter’s birth family once a year, but none with our son. Any suggestions on how to explain the different situations. He is only 3 and would definitely not understand, we are just thinking ahead.
I would greatly appreciate any advice on what other families have done in this same situations.
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