Today is my daughter’s 4th birthday. When the mail came, I expected to receive something from both of her birthparents (or at least, to have received something BY today.) A package came from the birthfather. Nothing from the birthmother. I checked my e-mail, because in the past she at least sent her an e-card. Nothing. [...]
Open Adoption Support
for families and individuals who support openness in adotion
We honor the connection adoptees have to both of their families. We recognize the love and joy as well as the losses and grief of adoption. We do not diminish one family in favor of another. We are flexible, understanding that needs and circumstances change. We set boundaries on the basis of what is best for our children.
We understand that open adoption looks like different things for different families.
Tag archives for contact
How do I go about opening a closed adoption?
My son, who is 2, was placed with us as a newborn in a closed adoption. We had wanted a fully open adoption, but his birthmom did not. Over these 2 years, we have sent letters and photos once a month. Initially these were held by the agency, but then the birthmom contacted them and [...]
Should I send this to my daughter’s birth mom?
I’m an adoptive mother to a 3.5 yr old daughter. Her birthmom is raising her three older brothers. And, I have a 7 yr old w/ another birthmom. The last few Christmas’s I’ve sent a big box of my son’s hand-me downs and a gift card to my daughter’s Birthmom. In the last year, I’ve [...]
How do we say no to extended family involvement?
When we entered into the open adoption it was ONLY to be with biomother. Because of the whole dcf involvement, the grandparents never wanting contact, thats what we agreed. Today i got an email asking me to bring my son to his biograndmothers daughters bday party. shes turning 6. Honestly she rejected him by not [...]
How do you stay motivated when there’s no response?
I’m struggling. In a couple of weeks it will be one year since I have heard anything from my son’s birthmom. I email her monthly updates and load pictures to our flickr site. Earlier this week he hit 22 months old and I still haven’t not written this month’s letter. It’s been about 6 weeks [...]
What do you do when she just won’t respond? I just don’t know when to give up.
My daughter’s first mom just doesn’t respond to questions especially regarding visits. We don’t talk on the phone often, never have. I wish we did but we’re all not very big phone people so we have done lots of emailing. I’m trying to set up a visit which requires booking flights and arrange for the [...]
First father is dangerous and contacting us, what do I do?
As some of you know, we have an open adoption with my sons biomother. we got my son from foster care when he was 3 mths old. weve had our ups and downs but over all she and i make it work. the biofather has his rights terminated because he never showed up for court,, [...]
I’m 13 and just found my mom online. Now what do I do?
I was adopted in a supposedly OPEN adoption, but have never heard much about my mother. I started to search online and I believe I have found her. I am thirteen. My mom just got married and if I wait she might have kids and it could be too late. When do I attempt contact.
Any advice on re-establishing contact with son’s first mom?
My son’s first mom cut off all contact with us about 1 year ago. He is now 6.5 and starting to ask more questions about his adoption and processing his grief. What is the best way to try and re-establish contact without hurting her more?
What names does your child use with his/her first family?
We are just beginning the process of open adoption with an infant. The Bmom, Bdad and Bgrandma will be somewhat involved in the baby’s life. For those of you who have direct contact with the Bfamily, do you have your adopted child call them by their first names or have you created a special name (honorary ‘auntie’ type thing) for them?
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