When we entered into the open adoption it was ONLY to be with biomother. Because of the whole dcf involvement, the grandparents never wanting contact, thats what we agreed. Today i got an email asking me to bring my son to his biograndmothers daughters bday party. shes turning 6. Honestly she rejected him by not [...]
Open Adoption Support
for families and individuals who support openness in adotion
We honor the connection adoptees have to both of their families. We recognize the love and joy as well as the losses and grief of adoption. We do not diminish one family in favor of another. We are flexible, understanding that needs and circumstances change. We set boundaries on the basis of what is best for our children.
We understand that open adoption looks like different things for different families.
Tag archives for grandmother
At what age should I tell my adopted child that I am really her grandmother?
I have had her since birth. She is three now. Her mother is my drug-addicted daughter. She sees on sporadically. My daughter wants her to call her “Mommy”. Help.
How will we get through this adoption?
My 17 yr old son and his 17 yr old girlfriend have a nearly 4 month old baby boy. They decided to place him for adoption with a wonderful family whom we have all gotten to know very well. We have come to love and trust this family, my grandson’s adoptive parents and brother, throughout an extended period of waiting for the adoption to become finalized. There were extenuating circumstances involving the maternal grandmother. Now- it looks like the adoption will be finalized in a week or so. My questions are these: As I have been one of the primary caregivers of my grandson, I’ve refered to myself as “Grandma”. What will I call myself now? Also, how do we refer to his “birth” mother and father? etc. etc.
And lastly (for now anyhow) how does a very loving and caring family who know that they are doing the right thing for the baby grieve for the loss of the child? This is going to hurt us all so much.
Do first grandparents have rights?
I am a biological Grandmother. Our sons girlfriend had a child a few months back but abondoned the baby at the hospital. My son did not want it either. The childrens aid ask if we wanted to raise the child, unfortunately we are in our 60’s and with some major health issues. We agreed to let the baby be adopted, but, also, that we remain as it Grandparents. We were told that they had found a couple who agreed to allow us to visit with our grandchild, but this has since turned into a nightmare for us. We were only given visits of an hour or so every few months, with the new parents always there. My question is this,: Does anyone out there have any idea’s on how we can get more visiting time and is it legal for the new parents to make up such a hard schedule for us.
How do I tell my daughter that our family friends are her birth family?
Our daughter turned 5 this past April and for the past two years, we have been meeting her biological father, sister and grandmother once a year at the zoo. The only contact we have with her birth mom is letters and pictures through the agency. Her sister is 8 and her family has told her all about her sister and that she was adopted. We are discussing about when the right time would be to tell her about her birth family. Right now she knows them as friends of the family. She is only 5 and we are not sure how much she would truly understand. She and her brother, who is 3, do know that they are adopted, but we haven’t explained details at this point. She has asked if she were in my tummy
and I explained to her that no she wasn’t, she was in someone else’s tummy. She did ask who the person was and I told her that I would have to find out. I didn’t think she was ready for all of those details at that point. She was fine with that answer and didn’t ask anymore questions.
Another question is that we do not have contact anymore with our son’s birth family. We did the first 1-1/2, however, nothing since. We send pictures and letters through the agency. We have the visual contact with our daughter’s birth family once a year, but none with our son. Any suggestions on how to explain the different situations. He is only 3 and would definitely not understand, we are just thinking ahead.
I would greatly appreciate any advice on what other families have done in this same situations.
I love my sister (my daughter’s bio mom) but I don’t want her in my daughter’s life. How do I explain the relationship?
I’m not sure if this is the right site for me. My husband and I adopted my niece 5 months ago, when she was born. She was 7 weeks early and born addicted to heroin. She spent the first month of her life on methadone. She is doing great but we don’t know how to approach the future. We have a four year old son and his cousin ( her biological brother) is three.
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