Open Adoption Support » naming http://openadoptionsupport.com for families and individuals who support openness in adoption Thu, 09 Sep 2010 13:18:28 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 What’s in a name? http://openadoptionsupport.com/2010/03/27/whats-in-a-name/ http://openadoptionsupport.com/2010/03/27/whats-in-a-name/#comments Sat, 27 Mar 2010 22:20:19 +0000 Dawn http://openadoptionsupport.com/?p=951
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    • ]]>     Before placement, we discussed with our birthparents that we would like to change our son’s first name to his middle name. We weren’t too fond of his birth first name, although we didn’t say that to them. As he was 9 months old at the time, we weren’t worried that it might be traumatic for him. They agreed and said that they actually liked the idea because his middle name was in honor of an uncle who had died tragically.

    In the 4 months since placement, everyone in the birthfamily have changed to calling our son by his middle name except for his birthmother. She calls him “baby Anthony Matthew” in all references to him. We did receive one email from her where she wrote “my Anthony is no more, replaced by Matthew.” However, she still refers to him by the above 3-word name in every other communication and when she mails things to him. We’ve politely asked her to please use his correct name. She lives with mental illness, so we know she is struggling to come to terms with the adoption.

    She’ll be visiting him in 2 months. Should we be concerned that she will probably call him by a wrong name? Or, at 15 months old, will he even notice? Maybe it will be like having a nickname from a certain relative? Deep down, it bugs me, but I don’t want to make too big of a deal with it if we shouldn’t be concerned.

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    ]]>     http://openadoptionsupport.com/2010/03/27/whats-in-a-name/feed/ 10     How to tell her not to call herself “mommy?” http://openadoptionsupport.com/2009/12/01/how-to-tell-her-not-to-call-herself-mommy/ http://openadoptionsupport.com/2009/12/01/how-to-tell-her-not-to-call-herself-mommy/#comments Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:25:07 +0000 Dawn http://openadoptionsupport.com/?p=860
  • My son calls us both mommy. Am I doing right by him?
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    • ]]>     well i received a call from my sons bmother. she asked me..when i come down next weekend, can I take a picture with K? I said sure,,she wants to go to sears. She said..i never took a picture just mommy and son! Well, now, I am going to allow the picture BUT wondering how Im going to address the whole..mommy and him thing. He calls her by her first name and since he just turned 3 he has no clue what adoption is just yet. So again,,shes managed to put me on the spot. Not sure how to address her.

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