Wondering how other adoptive parents have handled relationships between thier child through adoption and other children BP have. Our family is a make up of 4 bio boys and a daughter through adoption. We have an ongoing relationship with BP and maternal GPs. When we adopted 8 years ago BPs were very young & still [...]
Open Adoption Support
for families and individuals who support openness in adoption
We honor the connection adoptees have to both of their families. We recognize the love and joy as well as the losses and grief of adoption. We do not diminish one family in favor of another. We are flexible, understanding that needs and circumstances change. We set boundaries on the basis of what is best for our children.
We understand that open adoption looks like different things for different families.
Tag archives for relationships
My son says, “I don’t like her”
I recently posted here about the possibility of meeting my son’s first mom for the first time at a public event. I appreciated all the encouragement I received and we did meet her. It was wonderful to see her in her element and felt very comfortable to me. After the performance, she greeted us warmly. [...]
“Thank you for raising my son”?
My son’s birth mother wrote us a wonderful letter recently describing how well she is doing and how happy she is. Towards the end of the letter, she stated “Thank you for raising my son.” This phrase threw me off. It made me feel like we were simply doing her a favor by raising her [...]
Who are the parents?
Or maybe, my question is “what is a ‘parent’”? I think this is a touchy subject but I would really appreciate some thoughts. Our birthfather said that my husband and I are not our son’s parents. He said that “legally, we take care of him” but that he and the birthmom are his parents and [...]
How do I explain that her birth mom can’t or won’t see her?
We have an open adoption, our agency encouraged it and gave us some education…every year I send a letter and pictures to my daughter’s birthmother. We also buy her birthsisters Christmas gifts. We have always told my daughter the story of her adoption since she was a baby. The problem is, now age 7, my [...]
Open adoption with baby we didn’t adopt?
I took full care of a friends baby from the time he was born until the day he was adopted. During her pregnancy and after his birth I was to adopt him. However, she changed her mind and found a family out of state. I had to hand over my baby. It is an open [...]
What do I do when his birth mom is inappropriate?
So Our oldest sons birth mother contacted him over the internet last year when he was 16. She knew how to get in touch with us and we had asked for an open adoption at his birth. She chose not to and then went behind our backs 16 yrs later, We have since met, I [...]
What does the relationship between first mom and child look like?
Sometimes it seems to me that open adoptions are as different from each other as they are from closed adoptions. People might say, “Oh, she’s A’s first mom” to describe who the first parent is in their life. I understand the objective meaning of the term, I’m living it. But what does that relationship look [...]
Lying to others about the adoption?
Once again I can not sleep because I keep thinking about something my daughter’s first mom said to us and I wonder if any other fm’s have done this and if it is, for lack of a better term, “normal”. FM has told all of her high school friends that the baby is in daycare [...]
Can I decide first family titles as the adoptive parent?
We have our daughter (aged 3) through a private arrangement with a birthmom. Her parents are well known to us and our circle of friends. Birth mom raised our daughter for a couple months, then placed her with us for temporary care, eventually agreeing to terminate her rights to facilitate adoption. Birth mom also has [...]
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