Tag archives for relationships

How do I explain that her birth mom can’t or won’t see her?

We have an open adoption, our agency encouraged it and gave us some education…every year I send a letter and pictures to my daughter’s birthmother. We also buy her birthsisters Christmas gifts. We have always told my daughter the story of her adoption since she was a baby. The problem is, now age 7, my [...]

Open adoption with baby we didn’t adopt?

I took full care of a friends baby from the time he was born until the day he was adopted. During her pregnancy and after his birth I was to adopt him. However, she changed her mind and found a family out of state. I had to hand over my baby. It is an open [...]

What do I do when his birth mom is inappropriate?

So Our oldest sons birth mother contacted him over the internet last year when he was 16. She knew how to get in touch with us and we had asked for an open adoption at his birth. She chose not to and then went behind our backs 16 yrs later, We have since met, I [...]

What does the relationship between first mom and child look like?

Sometimes it seems to me that open adoptions are as different from each other as they are from closed adoptions.  People might say, “Oh, she’s A’s first mom” to describe who the first parent is in their life.  I understand the objective meaning of the term, I’m living it.
But what does that relationship look like? [...]

Lying to others about the adoption?

Once again I can not sleep because I keep thinking about something my daughter’s first mom said to us and I wonder if any other fm’s have done this and if it is, for lack of a better term, “normal”. FM has told all of her high school friends that the baby is in daycare [...]

Can I decide first family titles as the adoptive parent?

We have our daughter (aged 3) through a private arrangement with a birthmom. Her parents are well known to us and our circle of friends. Birth mom raised our daughter for a couple months, then placed her with us for temporary care, eventually agreeing to terminate her rights to facilitate adoption. Birth mom also has [...]

Is it normal that I feel this fond of my child’s first mom lately?

Has any one felt like this? Ive posted before about my sons bmom, being young,bad decisions etc. We have an oa and visits set to 3x per year but we get together bout 1xa month. She recently did something that blew my mind, signed up for jobcore and leaving for 6months -year for schooling! I [...]

How much say do I have in first family relationships?

There are so many things that I would normally deem “Not my business” that I feel like maybe are my business because it may or may not affect DS.
For example FDad has never done anything to facilitate our or DS’s relationship with his parents. I emailed his parents when DS was a week old to [...]