We have two children — a preschooler who is our biological child and a baby who joined our family through domestic transracial adoption. On Christmas Eve this year, my uncle (who I only see about once a year), asked if he could say a few words before dinner. He asked to hold my youngest child and I assumed that he was going to say a little prayer, perhaps giving thanks for a new family member. Instead, he proceeded to give a speech about the evils of abortion and how wrong we were to have voted for Obama. He specifically quoted statistics about a higher rate of abortion among black women and ended by saying, “Whenever you look at this little black child, I want you all to think of all the black babies aborted each day. Whenever you look at this little black child, I want you to say a prayer to stop this genocide.” This speech was also given in front of my preschooler. I was so shocked at the time that I could not even look at my uncle. (This is not an uncle that I am close to. While I have never had any confrontation with him, I disagree with him on just about every issue I can think of!)

After stewing about this for the past few days, I have decided to write my uncle a letter. I do not want to be cruel, but I want to make perfectly clear that my child is not to be used as a political prop. I could really use some feedback on the letter or other ideas on how to address this situation. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Uncle X,

I suspect that you have no idea how offensive and hurtful your Christmas Eve speech was. While I have no doubt that you felt you were doing your Christian duty, a family Christmas celebration was not the time or place for you to discuss your political views or abortion. If this were my only complaint, I would not be writing this letter. However, I feel that you used and disrespected my family and that I cannot ignore.

First, it was extremely inappropriate for you to preach in front of my preschooler. Ais innocent. He does not understand human reproduction, much less abortion and genocide. It is not your place to expose him to these adult topics.

Second, I was shocked and appalled that you would use B as a prop. You took advantage of my trust, asking to hold my child as if you were about to give a pre-dinner blessing, not a speech. B is my son, he is not a poster child or a pawn to be used for your benefit.

In the future, I do not expect you or your family to discuss race, politics, abortion or adoption in the presence of my family. If these subjects are brought up, I simply will no longer expose my children to you. While I value our family get-togethers, I will not continue them if it is at the expense of my children. I sincerely hope that this was a case of poor judgment and I hope that our future Christmas celebrations are happy and harmonious.