So, are you all encouraging visits with small adopted children and their birth moms/dads? What if birth parents are addicts, not stable. Isnt this a lot for a child to have to deal with. Isnt it asking a lot of the adoptive parents to help their child shuffle their affections back and forth? It seems [...]
Open Adoption Support
for families and individuals who support openness in adotion
We honor the connection adoptees have to both of their families. We recognize the love and joy as well as the losses and grief of adoption. We do not diminish one family in favor of another. We are flexible, understanding that needs and circumstances change. We set boundaries on the basis of what is best for our children.
We understand that open adoption looks like different things for different families.
Tag archives for visits
How many too many members of birthfamily for first visit?
We agreed to our first visit with our son’s birthfamily (birthmother and birthfamily are all who are listed in the agreement) being at 6 months after placement, which is coming up in May. The birthfather has told us now that they want to have the birthmother, him, his sister and her family of 4, his [...]
How can I prepare for a long visit?
First, let me say that my DD has an amazing birthfamily and they have truly given us so much more of a relationship than I ever dreamed we could have. We love them and want them to be involved in DD’s life as much as possible. We have done many, many day trips and other [...]
First mom can’t meet. Should I worry?
OK….maybe I’m over-thinking this…but first my daughter’s birthmother ignores her 4th birthday. Now…I’ve been trying to set up our annual summer visit (our 1 visit a year) and, from what she told me, she will not be able to meet. Should I be worried?
We have had some great previous visits. I even thought our relationship [...]
How do we get our child’s bmom to visit?
We adopted from foster care. Bmom has significant cognitive delays due to a head injury as a child. We had three successful post adoption visits and are overdue for the next visit (open adoption agreement is for two visits per year).
Bmom recently left her husband, who helped her manage much of her life. She is [...]
How do I explain that her birth mom can’t or won’t see her?
We have an open adoption, our agency encouraged it and gave us some education…every year I send a letter and pictures to my daughter’s birthmother. We also buy her birthsisters Christmas gifts. We have always told my daughter the story of her adoption since she was a baby. The problem is, now age 7, my [...]
Have I set my daughter up for disappointment?
We have an open adoption, our agency encouraged it and gave us some education…every year I send a letter and pictures to my daughter’s birthmother. We also buy her birthsisters Christmas gifts. We have always told my daughter the story of her adoption since she was a baby. The problem is, now age 7, my [...]
How do I handle stealing?
where do i begin,, late on christmas my sons bmom slept over..all went well. The next day we went shopping with myself , her and all my kids. In macys, while i was purchasing a gift..she apparently stole a necklace that said Mother and later gave it to me! I didnt know she stole it [...]
What do you do when she just won’t respond? I just don’t know when to give up.
My daughter’s first mom just doesn’t respond to questions especially regarding visits. We don’t talk on the phone often, never have. I wish we did but we’re all not very big phone people so we have done lots of emailing. I’m trying to set up a visit which requires booking flights and arrange for the [...]
Why would the bio grandparents not want to see their grandson?
So, awhile ago I dropped by my son’s bio grandmother’s shop to say hi. It was on my way and I just thought it’d be a nice surprise. She hasn’t seen him in awhile and I always get the feeling like she doesn’t want to ”bother” us. We have good relations w/ bparents as well. [...]
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