Micky Duxbury's Making Room in Our Hearts is an excellent resource for anyone involved in open adoption. Duxbury integrates first-person stories with information on the basic philosophy and history of openness. The stories are authentic and honest, and do not shy away from acknowledging challenges and mistakes. Especially valuable are those from decades-old adoptions, offering a glimpse into how open adoption relationships evolve over time. I appreciated the story groupings which provided multiple perspectives on a single adoption--from birth parents, adoptees, adoptive parents, siblings and extended family members. Prompts encourage readers to mine these shared experiences for practical application in their own situations. Optimistic without falling into Pollyanna-ness, the book touches on public and private adoption, opening closed adoptions, openness in international adoptions, how to make openness work, and needed changes in the current adoption system. A comprehensive list of open adoption resources (publications, agencies, organizations, etc.) is also included.

Although a good resource for families at any stage, I think this book will be especially valuable for pre-adoptive parents and expectant parents considering placement. It not only provides a realistic look at openness, but also makes a strong case for the importance of adequate preparation and ongoing post-adoption support for participants in open adoptions. The discussion of best practices in open adoption will help potential clients discern which agencies/professionals are committed to child-centered open adoption as a standard and which pay it mere lip service.

My perspective is that of an adoptive parent, so I hope other triad members and adoption professionals will add their thoughts on this book.

In this out-dated book targeted to prospective adoptive parents, author Bruce Rappaport (director of founder and Executive Director of the Independent Adoption Center claims to be "the founder of the open adoption movement" (although adoption histories don't list his efforts so the claim is, to me, suspect).

An adoptive father himself, Rappaport identifies strongly with prospective adoptive parents who have come to adoption after struggling with infertility. His bias makes him effective at addressing common fears and concerns adoptive parents bring to the process but leaves his book wanting when it comes to serving expectant parents.

As any family living open adoption knows, there is no such thing as "adoption without tears" but this is the attitude that pervades the book making this a ready target for anti-adoption activists who say that open adoption was invented not to serve adoptees but to coerce women into placing their children. Rappaport downplays the grief of parents making an adoption plan, assuring the reader that open adoption goes a long way to make it all better. He also glosses over ethical concerns such as when he writes, "Adopting parents deserve to have the same wonderful experience of birth as biological parents. The bonds that develop in most open adoptions make this possible." This quote illustrates his bias towards prospective adoptive parents, towards placement plans and the book's inability to address open adoption ethics.

Finally the book does little to address the very real challenges families face after placement as they traverse the reality of open adoption. While his comparison of adoption to marriage and the subsequent creation of new relatives is useful, he says nothing about managing these new relationships. The book is also rife with examples of first parents who have no ambivalence about their decision, little grief, and love their children's adoptive parents without reservation.