When we adopted my son from South Korea in 2005, we had no idea that we could (or should) talk to our agency about openness.  I have since learned that there are sometimes options for semi-open adoption arrangements with at least some Korean agencies, including ours (under special circumstances, at least).

I contacted our agency to ask what the possibilities might be for searching for our son's first mother.  The social worker responded that search could be initiated by our son at age 13 (!!), but that if we wanted to establish contact before that time, we could include a request in a letter sent to our son's file (first families can access the files if they choose, but not all do).

My next step is to include this request in the annual letter that I send to his file.  Just thinking about it is giving me anxiety and writer's block, though.  I'm not sure how to phrase the request or explain why it would be of value to her or our son.

Any ideas?