Open Adoption Roundtable #12
The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don’t need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you’re thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table.
Call them resolutions, commitments, changes, or choices–how will you be proactive in the area of open adoption in 2010?
1. I am going to take that first step in reaching out to my son’s parents. I am going to send them an e-mail notifying them of my upcoming move to a new address (hopefully soon-a house-yay!) and I am also going to express my desire for a more open relationship with them in said e-mail.
I think that’s about all I can do, considering the outcome of that resolution will dictate the appropriateness of any further resolutions considering the out adoption situation.
2. Oh, and I’m going to start sending a card on my son’s birthday. I’m not going to ask permission, I’m just gonna. Let’s see where that gets us.
Wait. Should I ask? What do you think? I’ve never sent one before. Ok, now I’m doubting myself. SHOULD I ask????
This entry was posted on Friday, January 8th, 2010 at 1:47 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
January 8th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Send the card. I always send a card even when I have been told by the APs that they want to cut contact….Do what is right for you.
January 8th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
In my mind this is one of those things you just have to do.
Honestly I have in my mind this idea that they are telling you ‘no’ but then to others they might be saying ’she has no interest in her son…never sends anything’
Another thing in my mind, what they might mean by ‘no contact’ is from their end. As in they don’t want to do anything(send pictures…etc) but I don’t think they are seeing it as disallowing YOU from sending anything.
I would send stuff, as much stuff as you can.(cards, letters, whatever possible)
In years to come, your son will likely treasure the card you sent.
I would do it, don’t let them define your possible relationship with your son.
January 8th, 2010 at 9:05 pm
I don’t know much about your story, but I say send the card – permission shouldn’t be needed.
Good luck & I hope they answer the request for more contact in a positive manner (meaning I hope they say YES to it)
February 24th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Roundtable #12: Resolutions « Open Adoption Bloggers says:[...] Sane @ You Never Get Over It (first mom) takes a risk for the openness she wants: “I am going to take that first step in [...]